See Through

I don't want to walk throughout the same door every door. I wish I had the option of many different doors that took me to all sorts of different worlds and if not worlds at least difference rides inn this world.
I wish i didn't see the same thing I see every day. do the same thing. Sometimes I feel like a week is just one long day. Ive found myself comfortable living within that I forget how it is to even exit one door never mind a few. My body may be doing the same thing from day to day but what goes on here in this head takes me everywhere. I often end up in the dangerous places , I don't like hanging around there for to long, can't afford to get lost in sadness. I forget I have already found myself lost in sadness. Is it a state of mind or is it something that holds onto me or perhaps I hold onto it, what is the relationship and does it serve me in anyway. If the answer is no I would be content for it to move the fuck out, it can take any door.

I ask myself why not create something new, something different, where I feel good and happy etc etc, well I'm not a magician and as far as I know , building doors and connecting to worlds amongst more usual things I am trying, sometimes I may not be trying hard enough but I'm just going with what I feel and this is what I feel- broken