Standstill? I don't know. Its okay not to know. I can't always know. Do I ever know? Who knows.
I have successfully found myself living back in CapeTown. Yes Im going to use that 'phrase'-"there are no words to describe...." How extraordinary it feels to be home. Cape Town,. Just being able to change my Facebook from living in.... To living in Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa. Oh it gave me such satisfaction blended with excitement.
There are some who can not understand why I would swop a n open spacious house with a massive garden for a small flat and a tiny garden. Yeah sure I have some guilt round moving my dog to a smaller space but she will adjust. I too need to adjust. Not because I am no longer where I never wanted to be to begin with but just because I find change challenging. It brings up all sorts of emotional drama, I believe it helps I am in a smaller space, the more confined my living space the more secure I feel. Weird for someone who wants her space all the time. Space: not just the area between walls.
I haven't made entries because I have become selective with both my thought process as well as feel progression, the question I ask is it progression or transgression. It could be a bit of both. I feel as if I am both posetive and negative but real. I know whats up, I am depressed, I am also happy, not happy nor sad nor indifferent. I could be her or there. I disappear in illusions and fantasy , I reappear in reality and tell a story by saying nothing.
I choose to stop now because I don't want yo face the 'real feel' , I face it none the less.
It's interesting
I have successfully found myself living back in CapeTown. Yes Im going to use that 'phrase'-"there are no words to describe...." How extraordinary it feels to be home. Cape Town,. Just being able to change my Facebook from living in.... To living in Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa. Oh it gave me such satisfaction blended with excitement.
There are some who can not understand why I would swop a n open spacious house with a massive garden for a small flat and a tiny garden. Yeah sure I have some guilt round moving my dog to a smaller space but she will adjust. I too need to adjust. Not because I am no longer where I never wanted to be to begin with but just because I find change challenging. It brings up all sorts of emotional drama, I believe it helps I am in a smaller space, the more confined my living space the more secure I feel. Weird for someone who wants her space all the time. Space: not just the area between walls.
I haven't made entries because I have become selective with both my thought process as well as feel progression, the question I ask is it progression or transgression. It could be a bit of both. I feel as if I am both posetive and negative but real. I know whats up, I am depressed, I am also happy, not happy nor sad nor indifferent. I could be her or there. I disappear in illusions and fantasy , I reappear in reality and tell a story by saying nothing.
I choose to stop now because I don't want yo face the 'real feel' , I face it none the less.
It's interesting
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