Im slacking a bit here in this space. The reason is surely noble. No. It's just that I am not entirely myself. Im not entirely here nor there, I suppose I am everywhere. I have a million things going on and nothing at the same time.
Putting words down make no sense to me. What is sense? "Behind their lively,searching eyes one senses a doubting,a contemplative personality,always trying to make sense out of a puzzling world"
That makes sense, no?yes.
Im already gone, elsewhere, wandering down the road into the moonlight. I hope to be back soon...
Im getting dressed now,going out just for a while. I was dressed an hour ago then I changed again decided I was staying in. Cant make up my mind. Can I? I think of you, you know. Always thinking of you, thinking of me.
How to undo this. Why undo it. Whats to be undone when whats done is done. See I not making much sense at all. Too many pills running through my blood rushing to my head making me feel "tipsy" According to my father if I exercise more I wont need medication at all! sure dad mental illness cure just in "tkae a walk or go to the gym" Ive never said that exercise is bad for one but how naive one must be to truly believe it is a cure. The talking cure does not exist either. May alliviates or teaches or you find ways to be "healthire" and things are more managable.
What need do I have for a woman right now (besides sex) I dont think any. Am I lying to myself, am I scared,insecure or am I just dissinterested. Im busy.
But I do miss flesh on flesh and someone to hold and sometimes to be "cradled in some elses arms" the answer is "it does wanders for the moment , loved, secure,cared for,looked after even if its only a minute, for someone like me that minute will carry for weeks" alas , It is not there nor here, possibly somewhere with the man in the full moon.
Merry christmas very soon and not soon enough. Not enough time to complete my ideas for gift , too much time to be with those I love most. Time, what is time? "Time shall unfold what plighted cunning hides:
Who cover faults, at last shame them derides."
This is absurd. I heard a thump outside, my doors are always open until I hear something that is. I sprung up slammed the door closed and shouted for my dog to come downstairs. She did not so up I ran panick buttong under my thumb, I picked her up and brought her down, set her on her security rounds. Nothing she came bag but then she saw something and started barking. i am now scared. Fear: No I believe this is a phobia.
I calm myself down and return to the seated butterlies stagnent, open release....
im off on an adventure.
Putting words down make no sense to me. What is sense? "Behind their lively,searching eyes one senses a doubting,a contemplative personality,always trying to make sense out of a puzzling world"
That makes sense, no?yes.
Im already gone, elsewhere, wandering down the road into the moonlight. I hope to be back soon...
Im getting dressed now,going out just for a while. I was dressed an hour ago then I changed again decided I was staying in. Cant make up my mind. Can I? I think of you, you know. Always thinking of you, thinking of me.
How to undo this. Why undo it. Whats to be undone when whats done is done. See I not making much sense at all. Too many pills running through my blood rushing to my head making me feel "tipsy" According to my father if I exercise more I wont need medication at all! sure dad mental illness cure just in "tkae a walk or go to the gym" Ive never said that exercise is bad for one but how naive one must be to truly believe it is a cure. The talking cure does not exist either. May alliviates or teaches or you find ways to be "healthire" and things are more managable.
What need do I have for a woman right now (besides sex) I dont think any. Am I lying to myself, am I scared,insecure or am I just dissinterested. Im busy.
But I do miss flesh on flesh and someone to hold and sometimes to be "cradled in some elses arms" the answer is "it does wanders for the moment , loved, secure,cared for,looked after even if its only a minute, for someone like me that minute will carry for weeks" alas , It is not there nor here, possibly somewhere with the man in the full moon.
Merry christmas very soon and not soon enough. Not enough time to complete my ideas for gift , too much time to be with those I love most. Time, what is time? "Time shall unfold what plighted cunning hides:
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