goodnight/good day again

So much happens in one day. My days are so full of life and energy also matched wit pain and disappointment.

I admit I am not all my self at present. My head aches, my shoulders are riddle in knots. Im probably a little bit of an emotional mess. I could clean up the mess a little or I could just allow to take over completely. I choose neither. I let the mess hang around a bit. So I can feel it, see it,be it. I can then slowly try to put it in order but Im afraid it aint that easy. Emotional mess is what is, an emotional mess and its here for me to take care of rather then throw it away,ignore it. Really if I think about there are far worse things in life then me feeling rejected by my mother or disregard by...

At first I chose to ignore it, I now choose to embrace it, but maybe when I wake up. Im taking myself to bed. Where I can sleep peacefully and allow my body to have an hopefully 8 hour break, where my mind will probably continue to work but I will at least be sleeping.

I cant always be happy, or happy with me or my behavior or the bad choices I make: and I make them . Im still learning I think Im going to be 'growing up' each day Im alive. Today?

Good night/good day again