Friday, February 10, 2012

and when you fall get up and dance

My body has been trying to keep up with my mind but always seems to be a step behind. When I'm a Little hyper as I am, a little hyper manic (which I feel I wear really well)My body just cant be in sync all the time and as a result I become, well, clumsy. I am clumsy by nature anyway but if you were to watch me as I am now, dancing around as if in a music video, as if clubbing all day, the music in my mind are my thoughts with a beat and a tune and rhyme and I do feel as if I am on a stage, I have an audience.


So here some examples. Yesterday I was prancing round the kitchen as I do, but as my mind swirled around to the music in my head and I spoke rapidly to my sister I wanted to do a simple thing. Walk to the fridge,open the door and take out the milk. What happened was I somehow missed the milk , lifted a bottle really quick and as I spoke my mind didn't connect to my hand which should naturally grip and the bottle went flying. So I bent down and started to clean up the glass, only while I was doing that I was thinking of business venture 3062, so I stood up in a motion with a thought process not connected to the spill and yes a shard of glass was stood on, blood now joined the yellow juice spill. I was tended to by the 'safe brigade' as they checked how deep it went I was talking about my dog not eating the glass. Only then noticing the blood coming from my second last toe (and this little piggy had none)


This morning I wanted to take a drive to the shop to buy some cigarettes. so I get to the store , just up the road, I speed anyhow, I'm a racing driver you know. I stumble out the car (you would think I was drunk) for some reason I find myself flying to the ATM, as I get there i forget that when you reach a stair you pull your leg up and step with your foot. No.Not me,  I think I can walk through cement too. I trip,I break my fall with my right hand. I don't look around to see if anyone is looking because I am driven to draw money. The machine churns out R400 in R20 notes, I speak to the machine , "R20 notes! Really,You cant be fucking serious" a voice from behind, a voice that comes with a clean cut guy, "excuse me. What was that?" I turn and say, "that machine only gives R20 notes, It cant be fucking serious" I walk away. I enter the shop to buy my fags and it seems I am now a parrot as I say to the shop attendant. Oh no, I take out the wad of cash and wave it in her face, "that machine out there only gives R20 Notes! It cant be fucking serious?" apparently that was funny. I get home somehow and repeat the story. Twice!


I'm going on a bit here aren't I: welcome you to my colourful world. To me its colorful, reds and blues and whites and yellows and glitters and blacks and blues and light blue and purple and reds. I dance with my colors. They dance with me.


Most of my day was spent trying to get one task done, but that task took me everywhere. I didn't know How I ended up from a veggie shop to a toy store, to home ware, to 20 million different hardware stores and so on and so on, what felt like 20 minutes ended up being 5 hours and Finally I made for the dance floor at home.


My dog must love these moods because we go on very very long walks. I talk to people when I walk and some of them talk back. We have intense , fulfilling conversations. We laugh, we argue,we cry,we hug and then I realise I'm talking out loud and think maybe Its time to go home.


Home I go and begin to paint letters. Wood letters. I don't just start to paint , first I try all the colors I can and the colors converse with each other, a dance off and eventually I choose yellow. I paint out awake and stick it on my wall and awake I am: tomorrow Alive shall join awake and I'm thinking my mind might consider a dance in between.


Moving swiftly  to a catch my flight , the journey unknown, the sound track of my life changes with my thoughts and is carried by my feelings. I use my body and my feet and try to make my mind my partner while my heart does all the talking.




here it is:

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