definite

I am vaguely understanding the difference between feelings of boredom, impatience, depression,loneliness,anger and pure bonkers. Those may not all be feelings necessarily but they are here with me and I am struggling as I stare into the depth of nothingness typing the word bored ,bored,bored  receptively whilst trying to watch TV. I try to find things to do to distract from, lonely lonely lonely lonely but my attention span does not permit. I look into the mirror and i say sad,sad,sad,sad. Followed by a little tantrum where I pull every ridiculous face possible to my being, look again: oh okay , happy,happy,hurt,happy "go do something!"


This songs strikes a nerve in me,is me:

Then on the other hand there are things that touch me, get me going.
Someone beautiful an unique to me (special even) passed the following onto me. I don't share it lightly as the selfish part in me wants it all to be mine,I share it to share me as in what lightens the load.

"Show me how you follow your deepest desires,
spiraling down into the ache within the ache.
And I will show you how I reach inward and open outward
to feel the kiss of the Mystery, sweet lips on my own, every day." ~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer ~