simple! I have plodded along today with inner conflict. The more minutes that pass the more tiresome I grow. Battling to bare the light of day, my eyelids heavy, heavier as my feet trudge along the ground with the humdrum of the day.
Not even a vitamin B shot in the ass could fix a spurt of energy to my body beat. I had the shot at 11-11 I was taken to sleep by 11:45, I woke again at 14:40. I continued to sleep most of the day. My body feeble to the world, my mind frail and I am just purely fragile and bleak.
My sister says "It's the shift, you going through the portal" well I'd prefer that over the other option.
I am feeling docile and let down. I feel I will have to fight but not sure how much of a fight is in me at the moment. Is it always a fucking fight. lessons? Ongoing lessons, I learnt a long time ago that I don't know how to do these things on my own , honestly does that make me less of a adult. I shrug my shoulders and say "probably" Its disappointing, I learnt a long time ago that disappointment and rejection go hand in hand. I also learnt that everything seems to happen all at once. I learnt i cant do this alone.
So if it makes me a baby to ask you for help well then that's okay, don't worry I can at least change my own diapers all I'm asking you is to help me walk.
why are one of my worst fears saying what I want, knowing that there is nothing wrong with what I want and yet still being too intimidated to say it or ask it even though its the right thing. My guess is I'm scared I cant handle the outcome which is (disappointment and rejection)
yup yup
the humdrum of my day....
YOU ARE NOW ENTERING LAUGHTER LAND:
SMILING,LAUGHING,CHUCKLING,GIGGLING PERMITTED By Order of the King
"There" said little Miss Sunshine."Now you can be happy". "But I don't know HOW to be happy". sniffed the King.
"I've never TRIED IT!"
Ehm, ehm....
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Not even a vitamin B shot in the ass could fix a spurt of energy to my body beat. I had the shot at 11-11 I was taken to sleep by 11:45, I woke again at 14:40. I continued to sleep most of the day. My body feeble to the world, my mind frail and I am just purely fragile and bleak.
My sister says "It's the shift, you going through the portal" well I'd prefer that over the other option.
I am feeling docile and let down. I feel I will have to fight but not sure how much of a fight is in me at the moment. Is it always a fucking fight. lessons? Ongoing lessons, I learnt a long time ago that I don't know how to do these things on my own , honestly does that make me less of a adult. I shrug my shoulders and say "probably" Its disappointing, I learnt a long time ago that disappointment and rejection go hand in hand. I also learnt that everything seems to happen all at once. I learnt i cant do this alone.
So if it makes me a baby to ask you for help well then that's okay, don't worry I can at least change my own diapers all I'm asking you is to help me walk.
why are one of my worst fears saying what I want, knowing that there is nothing wrong with what I want and yet still being too intimidated to say it or ask it even though its the right thing. My guess is I'm scared I cant handle the outcome which is (disappointment and rejection)
yup yup
the humdrum of my day....
YOU ARE NOW ENTERING LAUGHTER LAND:
SMILING,LAUGHING,CHUCKLING,GIGGLING PERMITTED By Order of the King
"There" said little Miss Sunshine."Now you can be happy". "But I don't know HOW to be happy". sniffed the King.
"I've never TRIED IT!"
Ehm, ehm....
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