Firstly you will see I added the slide show to my post above. Secondly which should be firstly I did not check into the psyche ward today as life presented itself in life's way and perhaps added with a little bit of the wrong decision on my part. I am easily influenced and to be entirely honest it is very hard for me to walk through those doors, I WISH I HAD. What was not done today will be done tomorrow. As I will have my phone I will still be updating my blog for those who wish to follow my journey, if I'm not heavily sedated, in a straight jacket, shock therapy or maybe even a lobotomy:) no no, i shall be smoking,playing pool, making friends and sleeping.
I have spent most of the day manic of the walls packing my life up as I do alot. Strangely every time I check into a clinic of sorts,strange how that works. I am still not entirely complete as I just have no attention span, and it scares me, i feel I have no support right now and that scares me, i flip out and become a total hater. I then calm down and talk my self through it. I hope tonight is nothing like last night, i do not recall any sleep occurring, I recall being very scared and very paranoid, crying for morning, morning came and now, im praying for tomorrow, because I'm ready. I was ready yesterday, frankly.
I would like to wake and go, I have to drop my dog,then meet my mom, drop her stuff, so everything is so prolonged, its no good.
anyway, to finish... I was in my garden to let go of this chapter and I chose to set off a Chinese lantern, it was quite something doing it alone, my hyper active shaky hands, burnt the tip of my thumb, not worried as I'm barely focused, eventually she flew, concerned she might fall and burn down the vineyards, she did no, I watched as she sailed through the sky, soaring slowly, I thanked my time and asked for guidance through the next journey, it mesmerised.
I want to soar slowly through the sky, I don't want to burn out, i want to shine. (I have fear)
goodbye
I have spent most of the day manic of the walls packing my life up as I do alot. Strangely every time I check into a clinic of sorts,strange how that works. I am still not entirely complete as I just have no attention span, and it scares me, i feel I have no support right now and that scares me, i flip out and become a total hater. I then calm down and talk my self through it. I hope tonight is nothing like last night, i do not recall any sleep occurring, I recall being very scared and very paranoid, crying for morning, morning came and now, im praying for tomorrow, because I'm ready. I was ready yesterday, frankly.
I would like to wake and go, I have to drop my dog,then meet my mom, drop her stuff, so everything is so prolonged, its no good.
anyway, to finish... I was in my garden to let go of this chapter and I chose to set off a Chinese lantern, it was quite something doing it alone, my hyper active shaky hands, burnt the tip of my thumb, not worried as I'm barely focused, eventually she flew, concerned she might fall and burn down the vineyards, she did no, I watched as she sailed through the sky, soaring slowly, I thanked my time and asked for guidance through the next journey, it mesmerised.
I want to soar slowly through the sky, I don't want to burn out, i want to shine. (I have fear)
goodbye
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