I just over hear some kid yelling repetitively "why did you lock me inside?" banging on the door. Only he was standing outside.
This got me thinking. How often i feel locked inside when i am in fact out and how much time do I spend locking myself inside when I should be wandering out side. Inside outside, all come with a little bit of yelling when not in sync. I do not have the pleasure of being outside nor in, so does that leave me outin or inout or just aside.
Ive spent my day journeying through maps and adventures Ive planned to take since I left school. I always saw myself travelling through Africa and i revisit this at least once sometimes twice a year depending on how often I need a diversion or a dream. Ive been from Cape to Cairo at least 20 times today, trying to find away past Sudan as not to put my life in danger. I have a sponsored land drover as I will be doing a documentary of course, what it will be I have no clue, I know it will be something remarkable. Naturally I have looked into the possibilities of having my dog by my side, oh the beauty of Africa, the beast of the land taking me in. The rare void of open sand, feeding me. the rivers that soak my undying hunger to see, to feel everything ridden. Take only what I can give. I have of course decided I will have a rifle, I am a good shot after all and even though I may not use it I have a name for it: "cobija" to protect.
Yes yes I have traveled the whole African continent today and its funny how it works, the first time I planned a trip like this was with a few friends from school. I thought of them as i sat doing my routes. I think I was driving over land through Malawi I got a message from my sister informing me that our school friend had passed away,(I hate that term passed away-DIED)
strangely Lebo was one of the friends I initially planned an African adventure with,I had thought of her today as i ventured in my land rover with my dog at my side. WHOA.
One thing I learnt, It doesn't matter if you haven't seen someone for years and years, when they are gone or taken it hurts and its sad, there is always a connection. So easily, so beautifully, so randomly, so imperfectly, so painfully, so...
To day I hoped,I dreamed,I hid from myself,I lost,I cried, I Remembered
Lebos last facebook statement really struck a nerve and I will share it as I will never forget it:
"Its not my job to fill the holes in you soul"
This got me thinking. How often i feel locked inside when i am in fact out and how much time do I spend locking myself inside when I should be wandering out side. Inside outside, all come with a little bit of yelling when not in sync. I do not have the pleasure of being outside nor in, so does that leave me outin or inout or just aside.
Ive spent my day journeying through maps and adventures Ive planned to take since I left school. I always saw myself travelling through Africa and i revisit this at least once sometimes twice a year depending on how often I need a diversion or a dream. Ive been from Cape to Cairo at least 20 times today, trying to find away past Sudan as not to put my life in danger. I have a sponsored land drover as I will be doing a documentary of course, what it will be I have no clue, I know it will be something remarkable. Naturally I have looked into the possibilities of having my dog by my side, oh the beauty of Africa, the beast of the land taking me in. The rare void of open sand, feeding me. the rivers that soak my undying hunger to see, to feel everything ridden. Take only what I can give. I have of course decided I will have a rifle, I am a good shot after all and even though I may not use it I have a name for it: "cobija" to protect.
Yes yes I have traveled the whole African continent today and its funny how it works, the first time I planned a trip like this was with a few friends from school. I thought of them as i sat doing my routes. I think I was driving over land through Malawi I got a message from my sister informing me that our school friend had passed away,(I hate that term passed away-DIED)
strangely Lebo was one of the friends I initially planned an African adventure with,I had thought of her today as i ventured in my land rover with my dog at my side. WHOA.
One thing I learnt, It doesn't matter if you haven't seen someone for years and years, when they are gone or taken it hurts and its sad, there is always a connection. So easily, so beautifully, so randomly, so imperfectly, so painfully, so...
To day I hoped,I dreamed,I hid from myself,I lost,I cried, I Remembered
Lebos last facebook statement really struck a nerve and I will share it as I will never forget it:
"Its not my job to fill the holes in you soul"
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